Empty
by potterbite
Summary: Emma and Killian are having a baby. [Do not read if you trigger easily.]


It was a Tuesday when Emma realized she was pregnant.

She didn't take a test, nor was her period so late she could figure it out based on that. No, she just _knew_.

Still, she went out and bought a home pregnancy test – ignoring the meaning look Sneezy gave her when she paid – because she refused to give Killian false hope until she was one hundred percent positive.

Sure enough, the test told her what she already knew and when Killian came home at dinner time – he was working with her Dad and her at the station – she still sat on the living room floor, staring at the plastic stick in her hand.

"Love, what – " he began but went silent when she opened her mouth and waved the stick in front of her head.

"Pregnant." Her voice was almost a whisper but she knew he heard her; on her lips was a broad smile and her eyes were filled with tears of joy.

"You – what – you – sure – pregn – " Killian stuttered, too overcome by sudden emotions to think of a full sentence.

But Emma didn't need his words to know he was happy – hell, they'd been trying to conceive for the past four months – because she knew him, and how he felt and how much he wanted and _needed_ a family of his own.

Emma already had a family with Henry, her parents, her brother (_after three years, the word still felt strange on her lips and in her head_), Neal with Tinker Bell, Gold and Belle, and even Regina with Robin and Roland had become part of their already giant family. Emma always included Killian and she knew he appreciated the company of them all, but they weren't his own family in the same way they were Emma's.

So she got up from the floor, put her arms around his neck and whispered into his ear, "You're going to be a daddy, Hook." Instantly, a laugh rumbled in his chest and Emma could not think of a baby ever being more welcomed into this world.

* * *

By the time Emma was six months along her pregnancy, she and Killian had already decorated their baby girl's bedroom; Killian had chosen green walls and Emma had picked out a border with birds and the sun on them. _They'll make her peaceful_, she'd told him and he'd never agreed more on anything.

David and Mary Margaret were no better than Emma and Killian; in fact, they were probably even more thrilled (if that had been possible). To be grandparents when you were the same age as your daughter seemed to be really exciting.

"Think of all the energy we'll have to take her places!" Mary Margaret had said when Emma asked how they felt about it. "We won't be old with bones breaking when we lift up our granddaughter!" They both laughed.

* * *

It was a Tuesday when Emma's water broke.

She'd been feeling the day approaching for the past two weeks, even though she was still three weeks away from her due date. The moment the water broke, something inside her chest started to ache.

Not ache because she was sick; ache because she could feel something being terribly wrong.

Not wanting to worry Killian over nothing, she didn't say anything and after a while she couldn't speak even if she'd wanted to because it hurt _so much_, more than she could remember with Henry, more than she thought she could handle.

With sweat running down her forehead and tears in her eyes, she squeezed Killian's gloved hand as hard as she could because she needed to feel him there.

"You can do this, love," his voice sounded right next to her ear and a calmness spread through her body; he was her anchor, always had been and always would be. She took a deep breath and steadied herself for the next contraction.

* * *

You are never prepared for what life throws at you, but if you knew what were to come, how would you keep on going?

Hope Swan Jones was born on the evening of a Tuesday but before it had become Wednesday, she took her wings and left. Nobody understood anything and there were no words to say, so when Emma and Killian left the hospital the following evening, they requested to be alone.

"There's a gaping hole inside my chest I'd never even wish upon my worst enemy." Emma felt as if she was watching from above, everything surreal. She wasn't even sure how she was still breathing.

"I know, love. I know." As he held her in a tight embrace, she heard his unsteady breathing and the silent sobs and she realized she was his anchor just as he was hers and as long as _she_ kept breathing, so would he, and as long as _he_ kept breathing, so would she.

They slept on the floor in their princess bedroom, holding on to each other for dear life.

And they kept breathing.

For her.

_Would you know my name__  
__If I saw you in heaven?_


End file.
